Tell It Like You See It

Tattling. I tell younger folks not to do it. No one likes a tattle tail. It was how I was raised. Don’t tattle on your brother is what I was told. Work it out amongst yourselves. However, if someone else wrongs him or you, then you most certainly make it known.

This is the mini code I live by. If it’s in the family, you keep it quiet and work it out as needed. Outsiders.. another story. This goes for minor property damages and fighting. Once it goes beyond that, then in my book, the authorities need be involved. For example…

My brother was unfortunate to get in a confrontation with gang members after they attended a “take back the neighborhood” meeting. Seems their leaders informed them they were being a bit slack in enforcing their turf. Thus a carload of young men had just finished wrecking havoc at a service station and were following a car in which the mother had two small children in the back when they saw my brother’s car ahead and sped up. A few words were exchanged between vehicles and shots fired into his car. The last bit is the witnesses accounts. People saw what happened and reported what followed. No witness report, no justice.

I just saw Cam’ron’s interview with Anderson Cooper. I watched it and shook my head. It can’t be that simple. You can’t tell people straight up not to talk to the police about crimes. My brother’s murderers were pointed out to police canvassing the area by witnesses as they drove back by the same area to seemingly admire their handiwork. Their speaking up made it much easier for the police to bring them to justice. But assume for a moment they lived under the code of ‘Not Snitching’. What would have happened then?

I did a quick search and found a horribly slanted, but somewhat informative article about snitching. While informative, it appears to take one down the path of Black ignorance. That this slogan is only about not telling on others. It isn’t until one reaches the very very bottom of the article the truth comes out. There is a code to not Snitching. Allow me to point a few of my favs as stated by Rayco Saunders, one of the interviewees in the article.

Don't snitch on others just to save yourself. "Stop snitching is for those guys out there ... selling more drugs than Noriega, and their only out is to tell on somebody. ... If a (criminal) wants to be a Good Samaritan, OK. But send (him) to jail. Don't give him immunity to do what he wants on the street."

Now understand. From where I sit, this means other criminals, not innocent citizens. And your drug dealer is typically not going to be called on for something minor. I might be wrong, but immunity is generally offered up for something serious. So this would sort of fall back on those who offer the immunity in the first place, now wouldn’t it? Just a thought to keep in mind, at the trials of my brother’s murderers, it is alleged the triggerman (with a wrap sheet a mile long) was an immunity-clad informant for the police.

Stop Snitching doesn't mean stop talking to police. "It's always misconstrued by the public, or the powers that be, that we're trying to intimidate the regular people or the law-abiding citizens. That's not what it's about. ... If that is your only outlet, to call the police, that's what you do."

There is an episode of the television cartoon The Boondocks in which one of the main characters wants to hold to the non-snitching code after his grandfather’s highly customized car is stolen front from right in of him. When questioned about the crime, he sticks to the code of not snitching believing he is doing right by the community. In what way is this helping? The show ends with grandfather’s car being recovered and Riley’s convictions being put to the test when his prized bike is taken from him by the same criminals. Tell or not?

But witnesses have no obligation to help police. "Do your job — you're the police. ... I've been wronged by the system. Do you think I would help the system? ... Do cops snitch on other cops?"

The authorities can't protect witnesses. "What's happening to the innocent witness? They get dead or ... terrorized for life."

There are two different points and yet, this is why I can understand not snitching. First, when a person helps the police, they become ostracized in the community. I mean honestly with Rodney King and other famous cases of police abuse, why should I trust them? Seriously, I fear driving in some parts of my community because of the police, not the actual people. My supposed protector doesn’t actually protect. They seem to spend more time trying to figure out how are able to afford 22” chrome rims than try to see to it children walking home have some sort of police presence to possibly ward off those who would do them harm. It’s not highly publicized, but I get the impression from movies and various television shows, witnesses are not too well protected by the authorities. Soo the people who do come forward to assist are not safe and yet the term civic duty is tossed at them and laid around their neck like an albatross if they don’t assist. My civic duty entails reporting something I happened to see or have innate knowledge of and it could cost, not only mine, but the lives of friends/family/others close to me? Damn, at least my folks would offer up not spanking my brother and the promise of no retribution from me to get him to tell the truth if it boiled down to it.

Sure, it sounds hood and cool to say, Stop Snitching. It looks great when you don’t come forward about things you know. Seriously.. who are you helping? Biggie Smalls and Tupac lay dead with unsolved murders because no one is coming forward. Even better yet, what if it were your family? What then?

You Couldn't Keep It To Yourself

Sooo... I am looking at it like this. Barbara Walters kept her mouth shut for... not days... not months... not even just years, but decades man! Decades!! No one has passed (adultress nor adulter that is..) but her momma yet she felt the need now to unload her conscience? Now when you can capitalize on the sensationalism of it?

Does she talk to ol boy about it? Naw.. reportedly she sends a message telling him its going to be in her book in the next week or so. Tough ish, deal with it.

Now.. my man could have capitalized on having continuously shtooked BW... BW!! He could have gotten some money off that in the 80's or 90's heck.. even when The View started.. “I had an affair with the then unknown Barbara Walters.” Think of the headlines? Think of the warm water BW would have been in.

Naw.. he kept it quiet.

Saved her reputation.

The former Senator even wrote and released his own memoirs in 2006. Not a mention of it in there according to the Associated Press article.

This here... naw.. this was low.

Why not describe your favorite positions? Favorite places you had sex...hell.. make up that you had sex in an alley with an ex-hubby. I understand scandal sells. You don't admit to having an affair when the fool is still alive many years later. That train left a while ago. Thank you BW, o’ queen of morality.

Parts of... Da List

I was watching Reaper and one of the characters, Ben, pulled out a list and started listing the qualities and characteristics he sought in a woman. Nothing new nor earth shattering about this. However, his requests of piercing blue eyes and a love of Mixed Martial Arts caused me to think of how MY list has changed over the years.

Ahh.. the first list I recall was in high school. I had a hang up on a particular girl at the time. She was everything I envisioned in perfection. Very smart, musically inclined, nice big brown eyes and developed (I liked all shapes even back then).

Please allow me to sidebar here… So how did I show this girl my appreciation? Like a school boy I spent the better half of our freshman year teasing her about her weight gain. Yes, I did call her the “f” word to her face. Not just once, but multiple times. I was just teasing, because I truly liked her the way she was, but didn’t exactly know how to communicate this to her. Thus, when a little maturity set in, I was already getting the silent treatment.

Fast forward to our sophomore year and I don’t recall when I apologized but I did for we were on speaking terms and I.. err.. I was not let off that easily. Through out high school, I came into a number of different kinds of sweaters. Some old, some second hand. Each was very very different from the others. There was the white Izod tennis sweater, the “puke” yellow wool one, a Kelly green v-neck and a few others I can’t or prefer not to recall. These sweaters did not escape the attention of the lady as she dubbed said sweaters a part of “Jamal’s Ugly Sweater Collection”. This was a running joke for her (I wasn’t laughing.. I liked almost all my sweaters) for two years. Over the last couple years we drifted apart running in different circles yet she remained what my original list was based on.

I digress…

From there the list has changed at various points. The “after” high school list included things like having her own car, swearing properly and fun to be around. A few years later, early 20’s subtracted the car (it’s an assumption at this point) and added the love of sports and had her own place. Also she had to like hamburgers. I was truly simple back in those days. She didn’t even have to like my music or need to drive a stick shift. Shortly after my first real girlfriend, I added the oddball, must get along with parents and siblings. Yeah, there’s a story there and if you offer me the right drink, you’ll get it.

Mid 20’s come and the list has been beefed up as I feel I am older and much more in tune with my true needs. Thus, a woman who understands wine and another language make the list as does the less “make-up is better” rule. I have come to realize.. I am just not a fan of someone who has to put on her face everyday and won’t go out in public without it. Nah, it’s just not for me. The swearing has been removed from the list and replaced with flirtatious. Yeah, a woman who could make me blush on the sly was first added then. Sure, I added politics (liberals only) and a love for various types of music (yeah, now you had to deal with my music), but this still remained a pretty similar list from high school days.

Late 20’s saw marriage… and quick divorce. This led to a lot of alone time and soul searching. My soul searching taught me I needed to add a woman who can cook to my list. Oooh how I missed a decent home cooked meal. The creativity and conversations which sprung up from meals… and umm.. I truly hate tipping. I tip properly, but I don’t care for having to do it. This is also the time when travel pops up. Indeed, she must like to travel beyond the boundaries of the great nation of Texas. We have added to the list “no salad only eaters”. As in, the woman who only eats tiny meals once or twice a day.. nooo way. That’s not to say she needs to eat the same junk as I, but please, the I have to watch my figure/weight comments every meal… no, that had to go.

Since then… well, certainly there have been additions and subtractions from my little list. Accents get bonuses as well as the ability to enjoy a good laugh often. I dropped the total liberal requirement in favor of anything not conservative and give another bonus to stick shift drivers (or willingness to learn how). The ability to communicate shot to the top of my list (look back at my other blog entries and you will get the point) as did the wanting/ability to show new things.

There are a ton of other things on the list I am not going to bore you with. Needless to say, its going to be interesting to see what ends up happening. Oh, as of this week’s episode, it looks like Ben might have find the woman on his list.