4/11/2005
3/30/2005
It’s been a minute. Things have happened. Where do I start??
For Or Against
I have a co-worker who spars with me on political issues from time to time. He is of the mindset a country is either For or Against the US. Hmm.. so there is no middle ground? Can’t disagree on a small issue like Iraq or prisoner abuse? Have to see it all the same way as the US dictates? He nodded and I in turn asked him if because of our political differences, I was against him in all aspects of life and should cast him as a non-supporter? He never did answer.
Early Bird My Ass
Where I live, it has warmed up to the point of allowing the windows to be left open at night. It’s a nice time to air out and feel some fresh air at night… if you don’t suffer from allergies. Another issue for another time. This past evening saw my still jet lagged tail fall asleep around 9p. A little traffic flew by on the near by highway. Not enough to explain what happened at 5a. Chirps. A ton of them. Bloody things were right outside my window chirping away like they had no sense. It was still dark! Just as happy as could be and they continued this racket. I thought about closing the window, but I think that wouldn’t do a thing. In my bedroom, I was still bound to hear them. There are fake owls atop the building of my complex. I am considering putting one outside my window with a fake snake or two draped around it. I just like to get my sleep. Some may feel these birds are the welcomed sign of spring. That’s nice. I think I like winter better after all.
7/21/2004
5/31/2004
Netflix has provided me with an interesting glimpse into England… Great Britain I should say. I sat in awe as I watched Bloody Sunday. It is the documentary style telling of the events in Derry, Ireland on January 30th, 1972. While the event speaks for it’s self, I can only draw my conclusions from what I have read and watched in the account given by the film. To say it was a shock in an understatement. The great and just British government allowed this incident to happen without at least a reprimand or an apology to the families of the injured and dead. As one who was just there and listening to the various American injustices, this came as a huge surprise. U2’s Sunday, Bloody Sunday had always been a nice peaceful song to me. The true words behind it, behind the phrase never really were clear to me. The reasoning behind what happened, I understand. The infamous IRA (which I do not downplay in the least) had recently been accosting police and the military was sent in to quell this. What I can’t understand is how you can have a hatred for your fellow man to actually shoot them down in cold blood and unarmed. I felt a huge pain as the credits began to roll and the familiar strands of the song came on. Then, the names are read off of the dead and their ages. It really solidified it for me. The British government.
So I took this little gem and threw it into the local post office box and opened another set of offerings. Among the films was a documentary on Sir Winston Churchill. The wartime (World War II) prime minister of Britain is a very interesting and intriguing figure in history. Revered internationally as a strong leader, I never really had a chance to learn about him in school beyond his title. So eagerly opened this one in hopes of enlightening me. The first thing I noticed was this: 180minutes. Ish!! I thought this would be a quick hour-long documentary. I hate long films. So I put it on and started it before I was due at work. Needless to say, I was a little late. I will say this is a favorable documentary of the man, but they did point out his faults, his blunders and his memories attempt at re-writing history to remove any blame on himself… like DubYah. They quote Churchill as haven once stated “history will smile nicely upon him” and this film did exactly that in some cases. His domestic policies during the war were left to his brilliant speeches and his fights with Parliament. Otherwise, we are treated to his war thoughts and fears about Britain’s future in the world after the war. Make no bones about it the man had visions of grandeur and adored the spotlight. The film shows this as a re-occurring characteristic. The other thing the film shows is the humanity of the man who wanted to be great. He made huge mistakes and that prevented his great visions from being taken seriously. He foresaw the rise of the Nazi’s and the later effects of not dealing with the Soviets during and shortly after WWII. It showed me a bit of Britannia and some of the struggles of the war we never dealt with in the States. So my opinion is a little better of these islanders. The British government still sucks.
Who Am I?
I have my friends, but I rarely ask them what they think of me. Honestly, I would like for people to like me as I am. However, if people aren’t impressed or don’t care for my thoughts/feelings, I don’t let it get to me. That I should care what others think about me that I should worry about how others see me. I shall not do. Why? Why bother? If my love of Godzilla movies bothers people, so what? If I talk about sex too much, don’t talk to me. If I cheer for the wrong team, get over it. If you don’t care for me as much as I care for you, why should I let that affect our friendship/relationship? I believe too much is made of worrying about what other shall and will think about your thoughts, your actions, and your feelings. When I sign my name, it says Jamal, not saint J or the perfect one. I am human. As imperfect as they come. I don’t call myself by the titles of Christian, Catholic, best man, perfection or otherwise. When I pass away, I just want to remembered as a good friend. Someone who cared for those around him.
Movie Suggestion: Bloody Sunday
Song Of the moment: Peter Tosh – I Am That I Am
5/24/2004
I am missing my laptop right now. This one for work should be just that. I have found the convenience of having a computer in front of the TV. Very nice. So I neglect my desktops in favor of my laptops and a weathered metal frame futon.
Dayum, You Want HOW MUCH??
1.89 for unleaded here. 2.49 in California. At least 15,000 civilians have died in an invasion in Iraq and we are going to end up with another four years of this mess. Yes, I said it, another four years. I liken Bush to a bad relationship. It's bad, and you know things are bad, but you stick with it because you are scared of change. Bush has not done anything to really be that "final straw". That one thing that finally makes one say enough is enough, we need a change. Oh, we liberals can scream about alienation from other countries and a huge military exercise which seems to get worse and worse as the days go by, but this may not be enough for the fence sitters. Kerry doesn't really seem to inspire. Maybe he is saving it for the fall. I liked Dean for his fieriness and for being the only to stand up and honestly say we have no business in Iraq and need to pull out. Kerry won't do that. So this bad relationship will continue...
Iragi's Don't Really Matter
Humanity states we can not kill or torture murders, rapists, pedofiles or otherwise within the US. To even suggest such a thing draws the ire of others. So why is it now ok to say abuse of the prisoners in Irag, Afghanistan and even Cuba is ok? Within the past two weeks, I have heard several members of Congress try to condone the actions of soldiers who have abused prisoners. POW's? Uh uh, sorry, this isn't a war. Regardless, there are still international laws to be followed. Human decency. We will never get to the bottom of this. The military is a brotherhood. You have to protect your people. But why did it take some damning photos to get the brought out into the public eye? These allegations have been floating around since the first prisoners were brought to Cuba. Remember those rumors... So why does this all come as a surprise to people? We have men and women in another country who have little to no experience with colonialism. They don't know how to intermingle with the civilians nor do they probably want to. More importantly, I doubt there is training on how to properly maintain a prison unless you are an MP of some sort. If the shit they did ever happened in a US prison, you bet some heads would roll. Instead, Congressmen are openly asking why should we treat these murders as humans. Tell me this Congressman, were any Iraqis in the planes on 9/11/2001??
Movie Suggestion: Run Lola Run
Song of The Day: Peter Tosh - Equal Rights
4/29/2004
Decleor. No man in his right mind should know anything about this name. Essential oils? Eye contour crème? Special shampoos and conditioners? Real men don’t know of such things. Okie, I mean a man’s man doesn’t do this. Yet there is a category for such a man who walks that fine line between being considered a homosexual (because the stereotype is they take extremely good care of their looks) and a heterosexual (these men feel mirrors are for posing in front of in the morning and brushing their teeth). These men are called metrosexuals. I seem to have been bestowed the title of being one.
Mind you, I am balding and shave my head, but I do spend a little time in front of my reflection. I don’t pour over ever pore on my upper torso. The greys I could take or leave… except in the chest. That ain’t cute. I don’t stare at my shaved head and think about getting a wax or pluck eyebrows. No eyelash curling (this ish is natural…
It’s those eye wrinkles, the puffy eyes and oily skin to dry skin thing. That’s what I look at. Now make-up is not an option. I do work at trying to make this things go away or at least lessen until I get to my 40’s or 50’s. It stems from a mild case of acne in my teens in which it was pounded into me I needed to take care of my face. Girls won’t talk to you if you pimples all over your face is what my father used to tell me. He didn’t mention the other little things like being too thin or wearing better clothes, but that’s another issue.
Then, my move to Fort Worth after high school had a subtle, but lasting effect. My grandfather was a sharp dresser in his time. Not pimp sharp, but business sharp. Creases and the whole nine. He tried to instill some of the values of looking decent, but my time in Austin had given me a slacker look with the balding in full effect at the time and wrinkled clothes to match.
One failed relationship a move back to Austin, another failed relationship later, and I began to take notice of things. I worked around people who were twice to more than twice my age. Some of the ones who were less than that (late 30’s) have wrinkles around their eyes. I later learned it was from their smoking, but it helped them look years older than they truly were. I didn’t want that. So how to fix that problem. Don’t smoke of course.
Then came the lines under the eyes of non-smokers. How does that work? I wasn’t about to run out and grab Oil of Olay. That just seemed wrong. In quiet talks with various women, I began learning of products. It’s not vanity, I just don’t like wrinkles on me yet. Grey adds character, I think. I was going to add glasses and re thought that one. I was just dying to get peach when I was a pre-teen. Now I have this coarse assed beard that starts re-growth shortly after a good shave. So the glasses thing… I’ll hold off on that one.
The manicures and pedicures are coming. As soon as my car is paid off, you’d better believe I’ll hit the school once a month. Yeah, the school, they hook it up for much cheaper than a salon. Besides, I don’t need perfection. I just want to wear sandals without being ashamed of my toes. My nails I won’t even discuss. Facials? Never had one. I toss on a few scrubs or make up removing soaps to get rid of the dead skin. Oils to moisturize and help get rid of the ashy look. Trim the goatee, nose hairs and try to get more sleep to get rid of the little bags. That’s it.
Am I really metro?
3/07/2004
The performances were good with Jackson coming off well as a nurturing foster father for Judd’s character as well as Garcia, the mysterious cop who everyone is leery of. The story itself is where the issue lies. I would like for a movie to not expose it’s self within the first 45 mins to an hour of watching it. Keep me guessing. I sat through Gosford Park and was left guessing what really happened up until the ending of that film. Of course, a friend of mine watched and she figured out who did what in the first 10 minutes, but that’s another story. Given a few minutes with this offering and I am sure would become an instant snooze fest.
I liken what this film did to a person who has exposed themselves and then tries to convince those around they didn’t see what they thought did. The rest of the film is spent trying to through you off with a twist here and a turn there. I hope the dvd …
A little while ago, I was turned onto British dramas. I had already been a fan of the comedies, but never really paid much attention to the dramas. They seemed too staunch and tight lipped. All of them seem to look as though they were filmed in the 70-80’s. Thus, when it was suggested I take a look at Suspect, I balked at the idea. Yet another police show. I have to admit, I am a Helen Mirer fan. My Netflix account is full of her work now. I watched the first season in disbelief as it takes you into the inner-workings of a British police station and the chauvenism within a male dominated department. I liked that this show walked you through the case instead of showing you everything up front and allowing you to watch the police fumble their way through until they miraculously pull it together in the end. Not at all. This show only shows you what it wants you to see and allows you to make the discoveries along with the police. Now, you will know who the killer is within the first few moments. It’s not perfect. What you do get/receive is the manner in which the police have to go about putting together the evidence to nail their suspect.
Season One was my introduction to the “ball busting” hard-nosed detective Mirer plays. She’s ice cold outwardly, but quietly caring. She just wants the lads to accept and respect her as a detective, not just a female. She is driven and occasionally steps on some toes to get what she wants. What matters is she gets results. This first is the introduction. It was pretty darn good. A serial killer loose in Britain. However, it is the second season, which struck me. Colin Salmon co-stars in the installment as a Black Sergeant Detective who is assigned to work with Mirer’s troupe on a racially sensitive case. Racism plays a major role along with the normal sexism associated with this show. This time.. ahh.. this time, we may NOT know exactly who the suspect is. This time, we do follow around Mirer on her investigation and the various discoveries. The question in this installment is less of a who done-it, but what do they know?
It will be a cold day in hell before I lift an eyebrow to JT. I am not sure what the details are behind the stunt he and Janet had for the Super Bowl halftime, (see, who’s still talking about this dead horse anyway??) but I have to say I am unimpressed with his actions in the following days. He first reportedly laughed it off, yet turned around and sincerely apologized under mounting pressure. Fine. Why turn around on the Grammy Awards and apologize again? At some point a person needs to make a stand. To apologize again just to be able to perform at this year’s Grammy’s is weak. What one is saying is to me is it is not worth sticking to your principles. Janet didn’t bow to the arrogance of CBS and issue another apology. That it has cost her at least one movie opportunity (Lena Horne.. please…) and a television appearance is unfortunate. One should not have to sell their soul to recover from a mistake.
Where is Osma Bin Hiding? There are no weapons of mass destruction in Iraq. Hussein is gone. The Iraqi’s should be able to elect the govt they want.. without the assistance of American tax dollars nor military. Are we still threatened by terrorists from Iraq? Wait.. the Sept 11th terrorists were primarily Saudi. Mmm.. our ally. Gas prices are high. Are the oilfields we’re protecting still in trouble? Why am I not paying less now? Why do I feel less secure since our militia built up and deployed overseas? Why are they still there? Is the Iraqi army just waiting in the sand for them to leave so they may re-take the throne for.. Saddam?? Do we really have him? If so, why are we still there? We? Sorry, our soldiers. Janet’s breast is really an outrage compared to the money Iraq is draining from this country. Education president? Where is he?
Song Of The Day: I Ain’t No Joke – Eric B. & Rakim
Netflix Suggestion: Cracker (series I & II)
7/06/2003
Soundtrack Of My Life
1) Wish You Were Here - Pink Floyd
I think this is pretty self explanatory. It relates alot to my
brother and father whom I truly wish were here in the flesh and
not just in spirit or mind.
2) Optimistic - Sounds Of Blackness
I have a never say die attitude. There is always a silver lining
in things to me. It may be dark, but ultimitly I know I can
Make it work out. Just have to stay positive.
3) I Am That I Am - Peter Tosh
Maybe I am getting older, but this song appeals to me more and more
as time goes by. It has to do with people trying to get me to fit
their image of what they feel I should be. I am that I am as Mr Tosh
says.
4) Redemption Song - Bob
Again, my brother and father. There not words to express how invaluable they
in my growing up into.. umm... me.
5) Ride On - AC/DC
It's a slow song. To me it's a person who is drifting through life.
The recounting of the lower points, the state of being alone, yet
still keeping their chin up.. looking to improve things for themselves.
6) Home - The Wiz (soundtrack)
This is the humbler. It reminds me of family. With all my travels, this
always helps put me back in Austin.
7) Time - Pink Floyd
I have an issue with Time. Never seem to be early. I am always
battling time. Either to be on time or not too late. More time
would be great, but I look back and see the time I have wasted.
Depressing song when reflecting.
8) Man In The Mirror - MJ
MJ in the last of his great days. I look at myself in the mirror
on a daily basis and I still see the 6 year old, the 13 year old,
the 24 year old with his dreams and thoughts, but no actions.
Everyday, I say I am going to make that change and set the world
on fire... sigh.. sometimes I do. But each day, I look in the mirror.
9) On The Road Again - Willie Nelson
My theme song!! I love to travel. There is something about seeing
places away from where I am and learning new things which grabs me.
I love Texas, but I hate the thought of not getting out of state
and taking in new things. Within state as well I should add.
10) Strange Relationship - Prince
My birthday mate wrote a song that seems to fit a number of my
relationships to a "T". I have some odd moments which I could
never truly explain. This song does it for me.
11) Spain (I Recall)/This Time - Al Jarraeu
A number of my earlier memories are based upon hearing music.
Al Jarreau was what my father played when driving my brother
and I to Austin in the old Datsun 710 (?) station wagon. We
loved to hear George Benson, but he normally would play Al and
these two songs just sounded cool and were always my favorites.
12) Tommorrow - Annie (soundtrack)
It *IS* a kiddy song. I was in the school play in 5th grade and
missed out because of the freakin chicken pox. As depressed as I was
I knew I would get past the stupid condition and be able to play during the
summer if I kept looking ahead and not get stuck on what was on me.
13) Oppurtunities- Pet Shop Boys
Hmmm... now this is a strange inclusion. To the point, it's me. The song
is about team work. Partners. I do my best work when I have that partner.
I get things done. Not another mother, but someone who wants to work towards
a common goal or goals together. Normally, I like to think of myself as the
brains and the looks.
14) I Ain't No Joke - Eric B & Rahkim
My "Monday" song. It gives me that take no prisoners attitude I need to get
through the day. Talk about walking in with a chip on your shoulder. I try
to play it on those "special" Mondays and Wednesdays.
15) Blues Medley - Little Milton
This is a 16 minute song which combines the soulful playing of a guitar
and the pitty filled voice of a bluesman telling about his lady leaving him
and his struggles (actually three songs meshed nicely into one). It just strikes
a chord with me.
16) Voyage To India/ Secret Life Of Plants - Stevie Wonder
Picture a spring morning in the late 70's. A father and his two young sons are
walking around a store trying to find a perfect Mother's Day gift. The boys
continually pick out toys they know their mother would love to have (as well
as ones she would let them play with as well). The father picks this new record
with a faded green front and green writing. The boys make fun of it but the father
says mnother will love it. The weird sounds from this record plays through the house
for the next few years and it becomes "THE" Stevie Wonder album to you. Years later
You present this cd to your mother on Mother's Day (LP's having become a thing of the past)
and all those memories from the day you shopped for this as a kid comes back.
This is just that cd that makes me think of my family when I hear it.
Voyage To India I chose because it is like taking a journey... A journey somewhere
exotic. Great answer...
17) Soon Forward - Gregory Issacs/ If I Didn't Love You - Dennis Brown (Reggae Sunsplash '81)
These two songs are the ones which take me back to landing in Montego bay and to laying out
by the pool or the sea drinking rum punch. They are Jamaica to me.. just relaxed, perspiring
under the occassional sea breeze. No worries mon, no worries.
18) Silent Night - The Temptations
Christmas can not happen w/o egg nog and the Temps version of this classic. I do not make it a
season without it. Again, the memories from it. Looking at Christmas lights in the
back of a cold car wishing never to have to go back to Timberline Drive. The
worst part of growing up was listening to it in the car alone and thinking about
how it once was. How Christmas was once a wonderful time for four people and a dog.
19) My Love, Sweet Love - Pattie LaBelle
This song was played at my wedding. This was my favorite song on the Waiting To Exhale
soundtrack. When it is played, memories of the wedding preperation and short
lived union fly through my head. Just that one song makes me think of that time.
Oh well..
20) Could You Believe - Al Jarreau
This song stirs sadness for me. It's a beautiful song, especially the live version. The lyrics
"could you believe in a dream if I tell you that it's true" hits home with as I think
back to that Datsun and my child dreams of one day becoming an adult who could drive
with his brother and dad in the car to someplace. Just the men going someplace. Now,
it happens but only in spirit. It's just very haunting for me... I miss the guys.
6/01/2003
I went through a few years of not clubbing. I wouldn’t step foot into one, much less throw a hint of being interested in going to one. A trip to see my friend Allie took care of that. It was her birthday and though being a hetro woman, she did like to indulge with friends and go to da club every now and then. So I flew to see her and her new beau as well as hang out with her birthday gang. The name of the club escapes me now and it did not immediately impress me. Yet, after I left, I had hope. Hope that going to the club just every once in a while would provide the right amount of tease and fun.
So I am off the stripper thing. It’s the first day of my month. June. For those with cold ass January & December birthdays, eat your hearts out. Please take note of the greenery, shorts, and sunshine. Christmas should be moved to a warmer month. I don’t know? I think there is room in June for it.
Song of the day: Dennis Brown – Sitting & Watching
Latest Movies Watched: Cinema Paradiso (directors cut) & The Law – review coming later
5/30/2003
Song of the day: Shine On You Crazy Diamond - Pink Floyd
Next movie to watch: Nemo and The Italian Job


